The Honeymoon
by Juliejuliejulie
Summary: The first night of the honeymoon on Isle Esme. What exactly happened after Edward pulled Bella deeper into the ocean? The events from the water to the bedroom from Edward's POV. Five chapters. Mature but restrained content, hopefully true to the canon.
1. Chapter 1 The ocean

DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. All of it. Even Edward. Sigh.

A/N: I always wanted more from the honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn, so I decided to write a version myself. The scene is sexual, although I tried to be as restrained as possible. As much as I would love Edward to cut loose and liberate his naughty, frisky side, I knew it wasn't going to happen as long as Bella was human. However, in BD, Edward was so plagued by guilt and remorse, I really tried to turn it around so he had a good time during the honeymoon, too (before the bruises show up). This story is completely from Edward's POV and will have five chapters.

I didn't have my usual beta for this story (other than my incredibly sweet husband, who doesn't like Twilight), so if I make any errors, please let me know.

If you like my story, please review it. If you don't like it, I'd love to hear why. Comments help me improve my writing, so I really appreciate your feedback.

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I stood waist deep in the ocean, trying to calm myself. If I had a heart, its beats would be echoing through the palm trees right now, betraying my lack of confidence. I took an unnecessary deep breath, and concentrated on the way the moonlight shimmered off the water, reducing everything to black, white and grey.

What in the world were we doing? I still couldn't believe I'd let Bella talk me into this. She'd kept her part of the bargain by marrying me, and delighting me with the single best day of my entire existence. It's not like I didn't want Bella on a daily basis, but this was the most dangerous thing I'd ever done. Foolishly, Bella trusted me. I knew that I was strong enough to resist the lure of her blood—I'd proven that time and again, even to myself. This, however, was different. How could I possibly make love to her without hurting her?

I chided myself. Here I was, a century-old vampire, and I was reduced to a quivering coward. Admittedly, part of my anxiety was worrying that I would be awkward, or inappropriate, or unsatisfying. I knew the mechanics of sex. I'd lived with my family long enough to see every position possible—and the physical examples were nothing compared to the visuals I couldn't block out of my mind. More than anything though, I feared hurting Bella yet again.

Bella's shower had ended a while ago, and I couldn't hear her moving around the house. For the millionth time, I wished I could hear her thoughts. Was she regretting her decision for a honeymoon? What was she _doing_ in there? As much as I wanted to peer through the distance into the windows, I kept my back turned. She could take as much time as she needed. Besides, I hadn't yet tamed the worried flow of energy that coursed through my limbs. I could use another minute.

Then I heard her crossing the sand to the palm tree. She paused, and I listened as she tried to slow the frenetic beat of her heart. Was she just nervous? Or did she finally feel the overdue fear of what we were about to do?

I envisioned her face, the perfect pale cheeks, her chocolate eyes. My mind filled with the possibilities of what Bella would be wearing. Despite Alice's attempts to hide this detail, I knew that she had purchased an assortment of lingerie for Bella. Phantom heat rushed through my stomach as I pictured one particular item, sheer and pale blue, with barely enough fabric to cover her skin. I exhaled as I heard Bella drop something on the tree—a robe?—and slowly walk through the gentle waves to meet me.

I studied the moon, urging myself to stay calm, and ignore every impulse to turn, to rush to her, to devour her skin with my mouth. The image of her face grew larger, until it felt like a shining sun against my back, beckoning me to stand in its glory. Nearly two years of memories flooded my head—every smile, every sigh and blush and kiss snowballed into a desperate desire to see Bella, to hold her—knowing that she would be even more captivating than my memory of her. My resolve made me think of Orpheus, and his attempt to retrieve his newly dead wife, Eurydice, from the Underworld*. He was so close, he had only a few more steps, before she would be freed from the grasp of Hades. But one quick glance ruined it all, and he lost her. I marveled that the analogy didn't send me into a fit of panic, dreading the moment when I would finally have to turn Bella and doom her soul. I knew it was a lost cause, and no matter how hard I tried to convince her otherwise, she would be a vampire sooner than later. But in this moment, I didn't care. I vowed that I would not be Orpheus, and I would not lose control.

Bella placed her hand on my own, light as a whisper, and warmer than the tropical water. That simple touch sent electric ripples through my body. I _would not_ hurt her.

"Beautiful," Bella said, her eyes gazing at the nearly full moon.

Silly Bella. She had no idea that nothing in the heavens could compare to her. "It's all right," I replied. I turned to face Bella and my eyes blazed. Naked, with the waves lapping tenderly against her waist, she was beyond perfection. Her porcelain skin gleamed in the moonlight, her wet hair appeared nearly black in the darkness. She looked like a delicate figurine, so fragile. I intertwined our fingers and dipped her hand under the water to keep the chill from her skin.

"But I wouldn't use the word _beautiful_, not with you standing here in comparison."

The corners of her lips curved upward, and she slowly moved her other hand to rest against my chest. Another current jolted through me, and I couldn't control a shudder as Bella's heat blazed through my empty heart. Her pulse beat through my system, lighting a match that began deep in my body. I tried to slow the flames, knowing I could not allow the passion to consume me completely. If even for a second I pushed too hard or squeezed too much, I might kill her. Fear surged through me, dousing the growing inferno which had been blossoming in my legs, my groin, my stomach. My worst nightmare pulled me back—Bella, deathly pale, her neck lolled too far to the side and gashed open, her unblemished skin shredded. I tensed as I tried to think of any excuse to delay our consummation while dual monsters ripped and fought at the edges my mind. My predator's hunger struggled for release. I'd never seen Bella naked before, and in the glimmering moonlight, I could trace her singing blood as it coursed through her veins with every rapid heartbeat. But I had fought that demon enough to know that no matter what happened, I would not bite Bella because of her blood. The other monster, my greedy, untamed human side, reared its head and could barely be contained. My lack of experience made it even worse. Could I control these rabid, forgotten human urges combined with my deadly vampire strength?

"I promised we would _tr_y." I whispered. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once." Every nerve snapped to attention. I couldn't let down my guard for even a fraction of a second.

Bella nodded, holding my gaze. She stepped closer and rested her head against my chest. "Don't be afraid," she cooed.

In an ironic effort to protect her, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body against my own. The flames exploded through my chest again. The sensation of our skin meeting felt like ice dropped in a boiling kettle. Surprisingly she didn't shiver, but closed her eyes and murmured, "We belong together."

I could never have predicted my response to her statement. Words could not explain how much I loved Bella, how I would do anything to keep her happy and safe. We _did_ belong together, and the truth of it rang out across the ocean like chimes.

"Forever." I stepped back, pulling her deeper into the water until it reached Bella's collarbone. The only way I could proceed slowly was if I removed the distraction of her nakedness. I wanted to start with her beautiful face, to watch her expressions as we blindly explored with our hands.

Bella smiled up at me, content and trusting. I reached up one hand to stroke her cheek, the other on her waist. I kissed her slowly. She placed both her hands on my shoulders and leaned into me. She parted her lips, deeply inhaling my sweet scent and closing her eyes. I brushed my lips against her jawline, pausing at the soft spot behind her ear. Bella's breathing roughened and she tilted her head to the side to expose her neck. I breathed her unique aroma, fresh lavender and freesia, mixed with her pulsating blood, the tang of salt, and the smell of strawberries from her shampoo. I kissed the smooth skin down to her shoulder. My hand slid to her lower back, while the other caressed her collarbone. "I love you, Edward. I'm not afraid. I trust you," Bella whispered.

Encouraged by her words, though still doubting them, I traced her shoulder with the tip of my nose. My hand slid down her sternum, moving to stroke the underside of her breast. Bella shivered, and I heard her heart race. I felt her nipple harden under my thumb and it was like we were two bolts of energy, combining in the water. A jolt ran through her and passed on to me. Bella's breathing grew harder. She looked up at me, her lips still parted and her eyes full of longing. I obliged, and kissed her mouth, fighting to be gentle. She returned my embrace, pushing her lips harder against mine, entwining her fists in my hair and yanking. Both of my hands clenched her hips. Our bodies responded with a burst of heat, as if we were standing in a pit of fire rather than the ocean. I glanced down to see if the water was boiling, shocked to see that it wasn't even steaming.

Bella pulled away, panting. She grinned, her eyes disbelieving.

"You are so perfect, Edward. I'm just in awe of you."

"Me?" What was _wrong_ with this woman? Was she really so blind? "Bella, you have no idea how gorgeous you are. I can't even find the words to describe what you're doing to me. I never felt this alive the entire time I was a human. That I can feel this now, as a vampire, is unbelievable. I'm the luckiest husband in the entire world."

"I'm the luckiest wife." Bella ran both of her hands against my chest. "Kiss me, Edward."

I kissed her once, lingering, before pulling away. With both hands around her waist, I lifted her up above me. Water droplets cascaded over her breasts and down her belly, reflecting the moonlight like gemstones trickling against her skin. I slowly lowered her, kissing her stomach, her neck and chin. Bella pushed my face toward her and crushed my lips with added hunger. I felt myself harden as her pelvis rotated against mine. She groaned softly as her nails raked down my back.

"Bella," I growled lowly. "_Please_ be careful. I'm barely containing myself. I'm trying to go slow so I don't lose control."

She broke away again, her pupils dilated and cheeks flushed bright pink.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't mean to get carried away. I just want you so badly."

"Oh, Bella, I want you more than anything in the world."

I couldn't resist. I had to see her body, feel the entirety of her skin. In one fluid movement, I picked her up and stepped toward the beach. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and began kissing along my chin and neck. Despite my better judgment, I raced out of the water. I crossed the sand in a short second and stepped into the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2 Edward first

With one hand, I parted the gauzy netting and slowly laid Bella, still dripping wet, across the bedspread. God, she was divine. Seeing her thin body, pale and feminine, offering herself to me without fear, it was like my own personal heaven and hell. I couldn't believe that I was lucky enough to have Bella as my wife, lucky enough for _this_.

The moonlight shined through the open doors, turning the billowy bunches of mosquito netting into fluffy clouds above the bed, as if we were floating somewhere in the blackened sky.

Her skin shimmered like a mirage. I had to be dreaming.

Bella's body, open and vulnerable, threatened to make my instincts run amok. The largest part of me wanted to protect her, to cover her with my own body. The rest wanted to devour her, to run my hands, my lips, my teeth over her. The ferocity shocked me. I'd battled my cravings for her blood before but nothing compared to the blaze scorching me now.

_Take it slow,_ I told myself. _And whatever you do, don't hurt her._

I studied her face as I knelt beside her. Bella gazed back at me, letting her eyes travel the length of my body. She stopped breathing when she got to my lower half, seeing the evidence of my arousal, then drew in a ragged breath before meeting my eyes again.

"Please," she urged.

The energy rising off of Bella's skin vibrated like a magnet, pulling me towards her. Every vein pulsed with life, persistently calling to me, while my mouth ached for her delicate flesh. I ignored the siren song by focusing on her eyes.

I cradled her face in my hands, kissing along her brow. I moved down her cheekbone, from the right to left, then across her jaw. Bella closed her eyes, parting her lips and breathing quickly. My fingers, splayed wide, slid across her shoulders and arms. I continued up her inner arms, stroking her breasts with my thumbs before cupping both of them in my palms. Bella bared her teeth and lightly bit her lower lip. Again the inferno ripped through me. I heard a howling in my ears, like forests engulfed by flames.

I wanted to tease her, to move painfully slow, but found it nearly unbearable to stop myself from speeding up. I couldn't halt my exploring hands or my growing need to taste her.

I bent over her torso, nestling my face in the soft part of her abdomen. I breathed, long and measured, while Bella curled her fingers into my hair. Carefully, I kissed my way down her stomach, running my hands along the sides of her thighs. Her scent intoxicated me—now a heady mixture of floral notes and an earthy, salty sweetness. I nuzzled her hipbone. Bella arched her back and moaned, shifting her legs apart slightly. The moonlight made her glistening skin sparkle like my own in sunlight, turning the tender pinks into an iridescent rainbow. The tantalizing invitation of the deepest part of her made both monsters surge against my brain.

I very nearly bit her. I caught myself, a fraction of an inch away, teeth bared, venom filling my mouth, my eyes huge and hungry. God, what was I doing? I was going to kill her!

Bella noticed my hesitation. "Is something wrong?" She sat up slightly, worry creasing her brow.

"No, Bella." I closed my eyes so she couldn't see the pure hunger boiling there. I didn't want to scare her. "No, you're just too delicious. I don't want to hurt you."

"Edward, you won't." I could see the delicate skin around Bella's neck flutter with her thumping heart. "The way you touch me feels _so good_."

I held my breath. As much as I wanted to ravish Bella and explore her body to its limits, I knew I couldn't restrain myself with her overpoweringly delectable smell enveloping me. I used my hands instead, stroking along the length of her legs. Lightly I caressed the inside of her thighs, nearly coming undone when my fingers grazed the fluff of hair and stroked her softest flesh. Bella cried out. I panicked. Did I hurt her? Did I push too hard despite my attempts at gentleness?

I froze, searching her face and expecting to hear her pleas for me to stop.

But her eyes rolled back in her head, her breath ragged and quick, like she'd been running. "Oh, Edward," she murmured.

I wanted to taste her, and not just her blood. I wanted to savor her skin, her sweetness. I remembered all of the times in Bella's bedroom, our passionate kisses ending abruptly. I would never let it go too far. I always worried that I would lose control. Here, now, we were completely naked, married, about to throw all caution and logic to the wind and attempt the impossible. I wanted to please Bella, to bring her to ecstasy. But the most intimate act, so tender and vulnerable, turned fraught with deadly promise. If I couldn't even breathe where I was, how on earth could I bring my lips to her?

No, I wasn't strong enough for this. As much as I regretted it, the temptation to bite her was far too great when I was face-to-face (so to speak) with the essence of her. I could barely contain the venom pulsing through my mouth. My shoulders shook as I fought to keep my mouth closed, to not inhale. This would have to wait. I exhaled sharply, and my breath alone caused another set of shudders to ripple through Bella's body.

In a flash, I was kneeling at the end of the bed. I rested my palms against her ankles, hoping she wouldn't be alarmed at my sudden movement. Bella seemed oblivious, and sighed.

This was better. Feet were safer. I was further away from temptation down here. I could calm down, or thought I could, until my eyes caught sight of the damp curls where her thighs met. I blew out a sharp breath, closing my eyes for a moment against the heaven of her inviting folds. I swallowed. _Concentrate_, I told myself.

I pulled my eyes away to rest on her face again. A slight smile graced her lips. Her hair, in complete disarray, spread out on the pillow while her fists clenched handfuls of the bedspread. I stroked her calves and Bella groaned softly. I grasped her foot in both hands, delicately massaging the arch. While I knew that Bella wasn't tense—she seemed perfectly content to allow this ludicrous event to happen—I was. I could pretend that this interruption was solely to ensure that her fists would relax, that she could shake off any last worries of me hurting her, but that would be a lie. Yes, it was pleasurable for Bella, but this pause was strictly for my own benefit to calm myself down.

Of course, it wasn't working. As much as I tried to keep my eyes glued to her face, I couldn't stop glancing along the length of her bare form. My alabaster goddess, so innocent yet seductive. I wanted to worship her. I felt privileged to bow to her feet; I was not worthy of her.

As I rubbed the tension out of her heel, I studied her slim foot. Such thin skin, such soft curves. The smallest movement on my part could snap her ankle. I shook my head. Vampires were not meant to have sex with humans. It was purely a recipe for disaster. Why, why, _why_ were we trying it?

I sighed, then kissed the tip of her big toe. She'd painted the nails a fleshy pink color, reminding me of other parts of her body I longed to bury my face in. No! Stupid, dangerous mind! Cursed sexy wife! Even her feet were sensuous and tantalizing. Before I knew it, the tip of my tongue snuck between her first and second toes. Bella giggled, slowly opening her heavy-lidded eyes. "You're going to make me melt into the bed."

"Good," I grinned. By now Bella seemed slack and sleepy. Maybe she would fall asleep before I could do anything else to risk damaging her. It seemed I couldn't even handle a foot massage.

Just as the thought left my head, a devilish grin spread across Bella's face. "Can I have a turn?" Bella asked, a fierce glint in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3 Bella next

"Could we switch places?" Bella asked as she sat up on the bed.

I looked at her quizzically, still holding her heel in both hands.

She chuckled. "I mean, can you lie down?"

I hesitated, but obliged, moving across the large mattress to stretch along the middle of the bed next to Bella. She stared at me, her eyes shifting from my face to my stomach, lingering for a moment at my hardness. Her face flushed when she finally met my eyes, but beneath the crimson she looked determined. A thousand images of what she might do filled my head, all of which fueled the blaze beneath my skin.

"I know you're preoccupied about hurting me, so …" Bella began.

"Yes?" I cringed. Evidently my attempts at cautious confidence failed miserably.

"I think it might help if you kept your hands on the headboard for a little while. Then you wouldn't have to worry about squeezing me too hard. Besides…" she smiled shyly, "I'd like to…um, explore you for a while, if that's okay."

I raised my eyebrows. "Okay." What in the world was going through her head? Whatever she was planning to do, I didn't know how much I could handle. Surrendering control of the situation made me feel anxious and tense. Even if I studied her every move, trying to anticipate what she would do next, I doubted that I could refrain from leaping on her if she moved too quickly. I hid my worry by reaching above my head with both hands and clasping the headboard tightly.

"Okay. Now, keep your hands where they are."

Shifting to all-fours in the full spotlight of the moon, Bella lifted her bent leg over me. Nudging my knee with her own, she pushed my legs apart slightly to straddle my thigh. The headboard groaned under my grip. Was she trying to drive me mad?

Bringing her face next to mine, Bella bent forward and kissed me gently. "I love you," she whispered, kissing the corners of my mouth. "I am so happy."

"I love you, too, Bella." I couldn't resist brushing my hand through my hair and stroking her jaw.

"Hey!" Bella scolded softly as she pulled back. "No hands, remember?"

I groaned, but returned my hands to the headboard. Her asking me not to touch her was pure torture.

Bella lightly caressed my forehead. Willing myself to relax, I closed my eyes. With slightly more pressure, she stroked along my eyebrows before kissing both of my eyelids. She continued down the bridge of my nose, dancing across my cheeks and jaw with her fingertips.

"Hmmm. That feels wonderful," I whispered. Each gentle stroke ignited tingles like static electricity.

Bella alternated between kissing my mouth and cheeks. I lifted my face slightly as she brushed her lips under my chin, opening her lips to taste me. I swear I heard my skin sizzling under the heat of her mouth. She kissed my neck. I hissed, barely keeping my eyes closed. She did it again on the other side. Twice. Each kiss only increased the pulsating fire spreading further down my body.

With fingers splayed, Bella ran her hands along the tops of my shoulders and my forearms. She repeated the motion down my biceps, then across the expanse of my chest. She paused above my armpits, nuzzling her face in the hair. Bella sighed into my skin, breathing deeply. A slight breeze blew through the open doors and carried her own sweet scent to me. My empty heart lurched.

_It's alright_, I told myself. _I could control my hormonal urges and not attack my wife. Couldn't I? _

Smiling, she kissed along my pectorals, running her thumbs down my sides to my hips. Her lips, shy but hungry, nudged one of my nipples, barely touching her tongue against its firmness.

I gasped and opened my eyes wide.

"Sorry!" Bella exclaimed, sitting up immediately. "Should I not have done that?"

"No! Yes!" I felt quivery and dangerous. I tried to breathe, pretending it would help calm me. "It was fine. More than fine." I laughed nervously. "Bella, the smallest things you do to me make me feel like I'm going to go crazy."

She seemed to notice that I was even more erect, if that was possible. Heat flushed her cheeks, and I wondered if I had scared her. Bella leaned over to rest her cheek against my chest. She didn't move for several deep breaths. Eventually, when her heart slowed, she lifted her head and began, with the tip of her nose, to follow the lines of my muscles, stopping every few moments to kiss a patch of skin.

She moved from one side of me to the other, from the top of my chest down to my waistline, offering soft kisses with occasional flicks of tongue, followed by gentle caresses with her fingers. Bella moved further down until she straddled my calf. Keeping her eyes on mine, she stroked my abdomen, continuing along the outside of my legs, across my knees and back up to my stomach. She slowly extended her reach to the inside of my thighs. She didn't linger there, moving back up to my chest and leading with her thumbs. I moaned. She repeated this pattern several times, always watching my expression.

At first her caresses soothed me, but her languid strokes grew in intensity. I tried to silence the voice in my head that desperately wished she would touch the one part she avoided. As much as I wanted it, I worried it would throw me into a frenzy.

When her hands neared my knees again, she turned her body to rub my lower calves and ankles. I concentrated on the feeling of her hands against my skin, a slippery friction of cool and hot. Bella's breathing grew faster and her arching position made her chest heave. Facing me again, she pushed harder, reaching further down to where my inner thighs touched before skipping along my hipbones and up my sides. We both shuddered. The level of arousal was both amazing and horrifying.

Bella closed her eyes and sat back on her haunches. Her scorching dampness pressed against my leg as another jolt of shockingly strong ecstasy moved through me. I shot forward in an instant, grabbing her shoulders and kissing her fervently. She parted her lips, brushing the tip of her tongue against my lower lip. I groaned through clenched teeth, choking on the venom filling my mouth. I tightened my grip on her shoulders, kissing her harder.

I didn't realize that I couldn't hear Bella breathing until she started to sway. I leaned back, worried, but still holding her upright.

"Are you okay, Bella?" My eyes shifted to alarm.

"Sorry. I'm fine." She closed her eyes. "I think I started to hyperventilate, and then I forgot to breathe. Give me a moment."

"Here, lie down." I started to pull her toward the bed.

Bella stretched her arm out, resisting. She sat up slightly so she wasn't resting on my leg anymore. "No, please, Edward, wait a second? Just let me catch my breath. I'm not done yet. I'm sorry about that." She blushed. "I want to continue. I'll remember to breathe, okay?"

I deliberated, easing the grip on her arms. "Bella, I'm not sure." I didn't want her to pass out. I tried to deny that I didn't want her to stop, that didn't I wanted to see what else she'd planned for me. By now I thought I might spontaneously combust if she proceeded any further.

"Please? I'll be good, I promise." Bella licked her lips.

God help me.

After a few minutes, she tilted back out of my reach. "Now remember, no matter what I do, no hands, right?"

Reluctantly, I wrapped my fingers around the headboard again; thankful that she wouldn't see my hands shake.

She stared at me and traced lazy circles down my stomach. Bright heat radiated where she touched, spreading through every inch of my body. Was she going to do what I thought she was going to do? I both yearned for it and dreaded it, unable to look away.

Kneeling alongside one of my calves, Bella placed both of her palms on my hipbones. Her thumbs reached downward, tracing the line of my muscles and along the crease of my upper thigh. I gripped tighter, pleading with my hands to stay where they were, rather than reaching down for Bella, yanking her into my arms and unleashing the beast within me.

Bella paused and inhaled my scent. She studied my erection with curiosity and tenderness. I felt her warm hands encircle me. Cautiously, she moved her fingers along my skin, shifting her pressure as she neared the tip. Bella switched to one hand, using the other to caress my inner thighs and stomach.

As much as I'd read about the intense feelings caused by foreplay and sex, I couldn't have prepared myself for the onslaught of emotion. A tidal wave of molten lava crashed into me, churning and leaping into the air, threatening to drown me. Everything glowed red and fireworks swirled behind my eyes.

Bella maintained her long strokes, her slow rhythm paradoxically creating a faster heartbeat in her chest. She leaned forward and kissed the crease where my legs met my torso. Her tongue flicked along my length from the base upward. Then, after a moment's hesitation, her hot mouth engulfed just the tip of me.

A growl roared out of my lips.

Bella pulled away immediately and sat up, gasping. "Oh! Did I do something wrong? I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth with her hand, her face flushing red.

"No!" I realized I'd cracked the headboard in my hands. Damn. I hadn't even felt the wood snap. "No, Bella, I'm sorry. I've never felt anything like that before. It was heavenly. It was just unexpected."

"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you?" Doubt clouded her eyes. Of course Bella felt unsure. She was as inexperienced as I was, without the benefit of years of visuals. How insensitive of me to make her worry.

"I promise. You didn't hurt me." That I had to reassure _her_ that she didn't hurt _me_ was absurd. I shook my head. Everything was so backwards with Bella. I wished I could give her a real honeymoon, instead of this nervous, halting substitute. I wished I could pleasure her the way I wanted to, instead of fearing that the smallest movement would harm her.

"Would you like me to continue?" Bella asked shyly, her cheeks a glorious pink.

"Only if you wanted to." I felt shameless asking her to continue for my benefit. What kind of partner was I, asking her to do for me what I couldn't do for her tonight?

Bella smiled wider when she saw how my body responded to the thought of her mouth on me again. "Oh, I want to." She bent down and I couldn't stop a sharp hiss. I felt like I was melting against her tongue, warming to her temperature.

I tried not to move a muscle, squeezing the damaged headboard instead, breathing in an effort to release the tension. Just when I thought my responses to Bella couldn't grow any stronger, the slightest hint of her teeth rubbed against me before her lips curved around my length.

Bella's hair fell over her face like a curtain. Still holding me in her mouth, she paused. With one hand she flipped her hair behind her. She threw me a smoldering glance before dipping her mouth down again, painfully slowly. I moaned louder. She stared at me with half-lidded pleasure, flicking my skin with her tongue.

The howling in my head grew into shrieks, both monsters clawing for escape. Bella increased her momentum. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to beg her to stop. The pulsating, thrumming pressure kept building, building, and I knew that in a few short moments I would explode.

I needed to be inside of her fully, more than I needed anything in the universe.

"Stop. Wait, please," I pleaded.


	4. Chapter 4 Together

Chapter 4—Together

I sat up lightening fast, kissing Bella's glistening lips. In one fluid movement, I picked her up and threw her against the mattress. I used slightly more force than I anticipated, making the bed bounce as she sprawled across the bedspread. I half-expected Bella to laugh or scream in horror, but instead she reached urgently for me, pulling me on top of her.

Fearing that I would crush her, I propped myself up on one elbow. Using my free hand, I spread her legs wider and leaned closer, trying to figure out the right angle. I hesitated for the briefest of seconds, worried that it would be painful for her, then pushed just the tip of me through her folds. Bella gasped. Before I could ask if I'd hurt her, she met my eyes. "Yes," she whispered. "Please."

Delicately, slowly, I slid into her. Bella moaned loudly, closing her eyes. She grabbed my shoulders. The heavenly sensation was disorienting. She felt tighter and smoother than when she'd taken me in her mouth, but also impossibly hot. The stark revelation of this very human experience—I was _inside_ of her, we were _making love_—shook me to the core. This was beyond anything I could have imagined.

Bella held very still as I pushed into her again. Was I hurting her? It was difficult to gauge her expression. It looked like she was trapped between anguish and rapture. I tried to pull away.

Bella opened her eyes, her pupils dilated. "Edward, more." Her nails dug deeper into my back. "Harder," she pleaded.

How could I resist? I pressed into her. Bella growled in response. I had an uncontrollable urge to swallow her whole.

My worries of awkwardness disappeared. Instinct took over. I grabbed Bella's shoulders, then her hips, desperate and greedy. I struggled to restrain myself, measuring how far I could push, frantically trying to interpret Bella's guttural groans, momentarily getting lost in my own pleasure before finding my way back out again. Bella shifted underneath me, figuring out how to move in tandem with me. When she started to circle her hips, I thought I would explode.

I slowed down, kissing across her neck and chest. I didn't want it to end yet. She clenched my hair in her fists, moving her lips and tongue along my shoulder. Finally, I couldn't wait anymore. Bella seemed to read my mind, reaching behind to my lower back and shoving me toward her.

My icy skin clashed with the fiery, softness of her. She curved around me, clenching, rotating her hips as I moved into her again and again. She threw her head back, arching and exposing her flushed neck to my face. Both monsters pounded on the walls of my brain, one begging me to push faster and deeper, the other demanding the sweet reward just under her silky flesh.

I wanted to bite her. I would not bite her. I wanted to pour myself into her skin, to bury my body into her deepest parts. I felt safe, and completely reckless. I gasped from the pure, unadulterated rush of love I felt for Bella, mixed with an overwhelming thirst.

Every vein in Bella's body pulsed with life, persistently calling to me. They thumped against my chest, each beat settling deeper in my body, as if we shared a heart. I switched between holding my breath and gasping for air, hungering for our commingled scents, which hung heavily around the bed. I inhaled Bella's essence like it was my life force.

A veil of pure red seemed to fall in front of my eyes. Bloodlust, Bellalust, I couldn't tell which. I turned my head and bit down, trying to funnel the excess of passion into the pillow. Gripping my shoulder, she purred my name. I answered with a whimper.

I lifted my face and locked my eyes with hers. I tried to stay focused, caught between tracking her every response for evidence of my violence and feeling like I was falling into an abyss of ecstasy. Sparks crackled through every nerve. It was the most pleasurable experience I'd ever felt, nearly surpassing the moment I'd tasted Bella's blood.

Back in Phoenix, when I drank her blood, the world had clicked into place. It was like everything had slid into ultimate perfection. My body had transcended the physical plane—dissolving into the vibration and hum of bliss. Now I felt that same union with Bella without breaking her skin.

Making love to Bella was like a religious experience, although I would never admit it to Carlisle. It was as if I did have a soul and it was merging and twisting with Bella's soul; as if the divine poured into and through us. Our essences blended into the vast cosmos—timeless, boundless, light, and liberated.

Even as this great joy flooded over me, a chaotic, churning energy took over. This mad drumbeat increased in intensity, spinning me like a dervish. I heard an unbridled howling before I realized that the sound came from my own mouth. I thought that if this went on much longer I would combust, engulfing Bella, the entire house and all of Isle Esme.

By now, Bella was drenched in sweat. "Edward! Please hold me tighter," she begged, clenching me from inside with the same frantic desire.

Bella wrapped her legs around my hips, closing any gap between us. She repeated my name, grasping my shoulders, my back, my hair, as she ground into my pelvis.

I thought I would lose my mind.

I sensed a furious rumbling, like a swelling tornado deep within my body. The mounting pleasure accelerated until it felt like gale winds pushed us forward.

The colors in my brain swirled in deep reds and blinding flashes of bright white light. We reached a fevered pitch, and then I thought I had gone blind. Everything shifted to black. Bella bucked against me. We were a train barreling down the track with broken brakes.

I screamed, a mixture of terror and ecstasy. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. Trapped in its cataclysmic force, I pushed even deeper, grasping at the tender flesh of her thighs, her shoulders, her breasts for dear life.

Our final crescendo of cries echoed through the room. I was an erupting volcano, an exploding supernova, a mountain crumbling. At the moment of extraordinary release, I lost all thought. In that one instant, everything disappeared. I no longer shared a room with Bella. I trembled as I burst into nothingness, a savage scattering of every molecule in my body. Then, there was silence.


	5. Chapter 5 Afterglow

I came back into awareness of myself, peaceful and euphoric.

In the next instant, however, I knew that I'd lost control. I swore that I would stay focused—that nothing would happen—and I had failed.

I froze in horror. What had I done in that one second? Was Bella alive, or had I ruined everything in a single moment?

What carnage would I see when I dared to look? Bella's torn body destroyed underneath me—my worst nightmare come true? With my lungs burning, I opened my eyes. The bed was in complete disarray. I'd destroyed several pillows in addition to the headboard and piles of feathers crowded around Bella's face.

But there she was, shuddering, sweaty, and smiling gloriously. I blinked, stunned. Bella was alive! I hadn't killed her!

I collapsed into her, shaking with silent sobs of relief. I buried my face in her hair.

"Edward," she breathed. "Thank you. That was perfect." She hugged me closer and kissed my shoulder. "I love you."

"Bella, Bella," I replied in wonder. My rage and panic faded in the ebbing waves of afterglow. "I love you."

We slowly pulled our sticky selves apart, separating what had seemed so fully joined. I rolled over, pulling Bella, now limp as a noodle, to settle on top of me.

She cooed my name and snuggled against me. Her breathing slowed. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling her heartbeat reverberate through my own aching chest.

That was the single most exhilarating, terrifying, magical experience of my century's existence. More than marrying Bella; even more than tasting her blood. I had made love to my wife on our honeymoon without destroying her. It was nothing short of a miracle.

The sound of Bella's breathing was like a gift. I kissed the top of her head, thanking God, the universe, whatever and whoever, for Bella. The impossible had happened.

She was my savior. She had changed me into the man I always wanted to become but thought that I couldn't. I'd never felt so satisfied, and I sunk deeper into the soporific joy still flooding my limbs.

The decades of anguish, of being alone for so long seemed like a distant memory. I loved my family, but it had been hard to hear their thoughts and watch their expressions of companionship when there was no one with whom I could share such feelings. That is, until now. Bella was my soul mate, my angel. She was the one shining beacon in my long, long life and the only thing that truly mattered to me anymore. I couldn't live without her.

I shook my head in amazement. How was it possible that making love had made our close connection even deeper?

I wanted to spend eternity with Bella, and to give her a second honeymoon without fear or restraint. But for now, I was content to watch her breathe, to feel her heart, to smell her delicious aroma on my skin. She was my perfect, human wife.

Bella stifled a yawn. The long day of travel and the stress of our consummation had finally caught up with her, now that the endorphins had worn out. Emmett had warned me that we'd be up all night on our honeymoon, but Bella was still human. Besides exhausted, she was probably tender, given that it was her first time.

I gently rubbed Bella's back, humming her lullaby in her ear. She sighed contentedly, sliding off me to settle against my side with her head on my chest. She apparently hadn't noticed the feathers sticking in her hair, but I didn't bother picking them out. I would get them in the morning.

Carlisle had assured me that the negligible amount of venom in my system wasn't enough to change her. I couldn't shake all of my worries, though Bella didn't act as though anything was wrong. I intended to keep my nightly vigil, watching her sleep, in case she started to turn.

Bella whispered a final "I love you, Edward." A few moments later, she fell asleep.

"My Bella, my wife," I murmured into her hair. "I love you, too."

A/N: Did you like it? Please review!!!!!


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